This post comes from many diverse conversations from many different people in the last week. Seems as if most of us have fallen off the deep end with relationships. Look, we all know they are hard and most the time they end up in heart ache. Unless you are one of the few that found that certain superstar who makes your socks go up and down. In that regard. Congratulations.
Look, ladies, I will start here. Most of you seem to always want what you can not have or someone that does not want you. Why is that? Quit chasing. Men know what they want and will go after it when they do. Trust me. I have seen it. They do. Women need to learn how to be them first. Period. No man wants a woman to be so needy that she becomes a shadow. There are some men that are so insecure that they force a woman into being a shadow and conforming to their beliefs, but in all actuality, these are few and far between. Ladies, get a job, be somebody, take care of your man, kids when applicable and quit being so selfish! Bottom line. It works. You are there to walk through life side by side with your man. Not in front and not behind. Right beside him. Facing the same direction with the same focus on life.
For those of you who have kids and are single, quit looking for a dad for your kids. That will only cause ciaos. Your kids have a dad. Find them. Make them stand up and be a dad if they haven't already. I am blessed with two great kids and two great dads. Whom ever I chose to date will never have the pressure of trying to pick up where some other piece of shit left off. That is not their job. Should never be their job. My kids have dads. No one will ever replace that. He will be my partner. And further more, if a man comes into my life that I do chose to introduce to my children and they start to try and push me and my children away from their fathers, they will lose. End of story. I will walk away. I have done it. Again, a man should be a partner. Let him be that and do not expect him to save the world. All the time, anyway.
Ok, back to the ladies and the men they won't stop chasing. Ok, chase. Do what you do. See how that goes for you. Here are a few rules that have proved positive for me. QUIT CHASING. That only pushes men away. Stop being selfish. Toby Keith said it well in his song "all about me". Look, it is not all about us ladies. Seriously. Men have needs too. One of those needs is letting him be him. You will not change him nor should you try. If you really love him, you love all of him. Not just part of him and then the other part you think you can change. You can't, he won't. Quit trying. Let him be him. Love him, support him. Then watch what happens. You may actually like it. Don't do the "ok honey, go play golf" and then bitch at him when he did not call you 45 times during the game. Look, there are only 18 holes of golf. And some of it requires effort. So that means that he swings, chases the damn ball through the lake or the sand, swears a few times and repeats while drinking. What do you want him to do? Call you after every beer or while he is knee deep in muck? I'm telling you. That will not happen. Don't expect it. Leave him alone when he is with the guys. Yes, he still loves you. Just because he is not telling you that every 30 seconds does not mean it is not true.
Be your self. Do something. Try trusting and not overreacting about EVERYTHING. Girls, we do. Am I that wrong there? Remember, they are your counter part. You have to be as strong and focused as they are. They do not think like we do. Their hearts are not programmed with pretty hearts and flowers and long walks on the beach. When you get that, appreciate it. Do not expect that every day. Remember the small moments. This is what men do best. It is the small things. Do you remember when you sat with your faces pressed up against each other, smiling, kissing and having a conversation that moved mountains, or are you focused on the next thing he buys you? Think about it. He was showing you who he is and how he cares for you. But does that mean anything to you, not usually. It is how many times during a period that he says repeatedly that he loves you. Or how hot you are. What about how nice you look in your new shirt that he could care less about.
Money is not everything either. Have you ever sat and wondered what you can do for him? How you can make him smile? What he wants? I bet not so much! Quit shopping, wanting the world and focusing on the bad. Life is too short. Really it is. Find someone that wants to be with you. Wants to share the good and the bad. Wants to be happy. Until then, be you. Only you. Love what you do and how you are or FIX it! Quit bitching that men are assholes. They aren't. Well most anyway. I have met a few in my day. Just remember, sometimes it is our fault. We have double standard. Men are not perfect. Do not expect them to be. If you really think about it, we are FAR from perfect. Be you. Let your man be him. Walk beside him. Enjoy what he has to offer and help him when he needs you. This will get you far. Try it sometime.
Ok, this post is WAY too long. Sorry, I too am a woman and have the gift of going on and on and on. Sorry. Men, you are next. I am not done with this by any account. In fact, I am just getting started. Had to start somewhere. If you do not like it, don't read it.
Look, ladies, I will start here. Most of you seem to always want what you can not have or someone that does not want you. Why is that? Quit chasing. Men know what they want and will go after it when they do. Trust me. I have seen it. They do. Women need to learn how to be them first. Period. No man wants a woman to be so needy that she becomes a shadow. There are some men that are so insecure that they force a woman into being a shadow and conforming to their beliefs, but in all actuality, these are few and far between. Ladies, get a job, be somebody, take care of your man, kids when applicable and quit being so selfish! Bottom line. It works. You are there to walk through life side by side with your man. Not in front and not behind. Right beside him. Facing the same direction with the same focus on life.
For those of you who have kids and are single, quit looking for a dad for your kids. That will only cause ciaos. Your kids have a dad. Find them. Make them stand up and be a dad if they haven't already. I am blessed with two great kids and two great dads. Whom ever I chose to date will never have the pressure of trying to pick up where some other piece of shit left off. That is not their job. Should never be their job. My kids have dads. No one will ever replace that. He will be my partner. And further more, if a man comes into my life that I do chose to introduce to my children and they start to try and push me and my children away from their fathers, they will lose. End of story. I will walk away. I have done it. Again, a man should be a partner. Let him be that and do not expect him to save the world. All the time, anyway.
Ok, back to the ladies and the men they won't stop chasing. Ok, chase. Do what you do. See how that goes for you. Here are a few rules that have proved positive for me. QUIT CHASING. That only pushes men away. Stop being selfish. Toby Keith said it well in his song "all about me". Look, it is not all about us ladies. Seriously. Men have needs too. One of those needs is letting him be him. You will not change him nor should you try. If you really love him, you love all of him. Not just part of him and then the other part you think you can change. You can't, he won't. Quit trying. Let him be him. Love him, support him. Then watch what happens. You may actually like it. Don't do the "ok honey, go play golf" and then bitch at him when he did not call you 45 times during the game. Look, there are only 18 holes of golf. And some of it requires effort. So that means that he swings, chases the damn ball through the lake or the sand, swears a few times and repeats while drinking. What do you want him to do? Call you after every beer or while he is knee deep in muck? I'm telling you. That will not happen. Don't expect it. Leave him alone when he is with the guys. Yes, he still loves you. Just because he is not telling you that every 30 seconds does not mean it is not true.
Be your self. Do something. Try trusting and not overreacting about EVERYTHING. Girls, we do. Am I that wrong there? Remember, they are your counter part. You have to be as strong and focused as they are. They do not think like we do. Their hearts are not programmed with pretty hearts and flowers and long walks on the beach. When you get that, appreciate it. Do not expect that every day. Remember the small moments. This is what men do best. It is the small things. Do you remember when you sat with your faces pressed up against each other, smiling, kissing and having a conversation that moved mountains, or are you focused on the next thing he buys you? Think about it. He was showing you who he is and how he cares for you. But does that mean anything to you, not usually. It is how many times during a period that he says repeatedly that he loves you. Or how hot you are. What about how nice you look in your new shirt that he could care less about.
Money is not everything either. Have you ever sat and wondered what you can do for him? How you can make him smile? What he wants? I bet not so much! Quit shopping, wanting the world and focusing on the bad. Life is too short. Really it is. Find someone that wants to be with you. Wants to share the good and the bad. Wants to be happy. Until then, be you. Only you. Love what you do and how you are or FIX it! Quit bitching that men are assholes. They aren't. Well most anyway. I have met a few in my day. Just remember, sometimes it is our fault. We have double standard. Men are not perfect. Do not expect them to be. If you really think about it, we are FAR from perfect. Be you. Let your man be him. Walk beside him. Enjoy what he has to offer and help him when he needs you. This will get you far. Try it sometime.
Ok, this post is WAY too long. Sorry, I too am a woman and have the gift of going on and on and on. Sorry. Men, you are next. I am not done with this by any account. In fact, I am just getting started. Had to start somewhere. If you do not like it, don't read it.
